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ELVIS SIGHTINGS
{short description of image}Elvis Sightings
Dec. 12, 2003 Disguised as Santa's elf at North Pole display at Dillard's, Meadows Mall. Sideburns give him away.

Dec. 4, 2003 Operating winch to remove HVAC units at Glass Pool Motel, to be demolished this month.

July 12, 2003 Was seen getting fired from busboy job at Harley Davidson Cafe after dropping rack of glasses.

November 2, 2002 Seen sitting in front seat of Oscar Goodman's limo leaving inaugural party, wearing shades.

May 13, 2002 Spotted by hotel desk clerk in elevator at Stratosphere with Steve Wynn as door was closing.

March 5, 2002 In front lines at anti nuke waste demonstration at entry road to Yucca Mountain, carrying sign.

February 23, 2002 Filling punch glasses from punch fountain at Lonnie Hammargren's open house.

March 4, 2004He was seen buying sun glasses in bulk at a 99c store.

August 25, 2005Trying to sign up with the US Marine Corps Expeditionary forces for service in Germany. Was told the war was over.

August 26, 2005Signed up anyway, shipped out to Wiesbaden, Germany as "troop morale builder"

August 27, 2005Suffered heart attack in the dining hall of a military post in above mentioned city while consuming a 2ft peanut butter, mayonnaise and salami sandwich.

August 29, 2005Spotted on a pedestrian overpass on the Las Vegas Strip serving peanut butter, mayonnaise and salami sandwiches disguised as "health food"

August 30, 2005Arrested for false advertising. Requested diet food in jail. Wanted a p.b., mayo. and salami sandw. on a 2ft bun.

One year later August 2006 Elvis was seen serving p.b., mayo. and salami sandwiches out of a food truck at a gift shop parking lot on the corner of Las Vegas Bl. S. and Sahara Ave.

One day later Gift shop closed because of a lack of parking. Elvis and his food truck were ordered to vacate the premises.

January 1, 2007I am confused. On a stroll down the Las Vegas Strip I counted 14 Elvi. I didn't know so many were around.

2009The recession is taking it's toll. The variety of Elvi is astounding. African American, Polish, Hispanic, you name it. I even saw an Elvis that looked like the original.

June 2010On a stroll through Lonnie Hammergrens once yearly open house I saw Elvis serenading Lonnie with a rendition of his famous song "In the Ghetto". I was laughing, I don't know if Lonnie was.

March 15, 2011These are the Ides of March. Elvis was seen in a toga and playing an Irish harp. I didn't get the connection.

October 12, 2012Elvis entered a popular bar on S. Eastern and the 215. Was not recognized without his sideburns.

January 5, 2013Observed calling President Putin of Russia, pleading for "peace in our time".

March 5, 2014Elvis tries to enlist in the US Marines Expeditionary forces for the Ukraine. Was told to bring his own sandwiches and uniforms.

March 5, 201415 Elvi are back in Wiesbaden, Germany, driving food trucks, selling sandwiches.

March 6, 2014They are all arrested for "crimes against humanity" and are awaiting extradition to the US. The German jail warden is fired for bringing in p.b., mayo. and salami sandwiches.

March 7, 2014All Elvi are released from jail upon a complaints by other inmates. They had to listen to 15 versions of "Jailhouse Rock". The presiding judge called it "cruel and"inhuman".

.March 24,2014. I woke up with a headache. I had spent the previous night hunting for Elvis on the Las Vegas Strip. It was a painful experience, overweight, his voice clearly gone, trying to make a ......................................buck .....selling those sandwiches. He even had added a banana to the funky ingedients. The money coming in was minimal, $2.99 per. Truly devastating.

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